Ivan the dragon-capercaillie. He’s a wood elemental, but don’t give a fuck about no elemental shit and generally ignore his abilities in favour of fistcuffs. Motto: Come at me, bro!
He’s part one of a duo of violent douchebags.
I remember one close encounter with a capercaillie. It was when I was about nine and we still kept chickens. Capercaillies have anger management issues and it being mating season, one of them finally snapped and went a bit postal. Instead of staying in the woods, fighting for the right to bonk some chick, he just roamed around the municipally, making a scratchy mess of people’s pant legs, cars and my cousins motor bike. When he finally got to our farm he chased away my cowardly (but very sweet) rooster, Susakk, and proceeded to rape all our hens. Or at least attempted to do so. Must have been a bit difficult co-ordinating body parts in that ‘roid rage of his.
I imagine it must have been much like being mounted by an angry, horny sumo wrestler. A sumo wrestler speaking dot-click-click gibberish and with talons of death digging into your back. Capercaillies, man.